1….Doors: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door opened stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. One door is opened it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an “outside” door opened,…
Read moreVisitors: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show…
Read moreThe garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the couch, or under the bed….
Read moreTreat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me. Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between…
Read moreEyeing hydrants, digging holes, Drinking from the toilet bowls… Playing games of “tug-o’-war,” Putting scratch marks on your door … Rolling over, playing dead, Getting dog hair on your bed … Scaring folks who bring the mail, Chasing cars, as…
Read moreNever pass up an opportunity to go for a joy ride Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy When loved ones come home, always run to greet them When it is…
Read more1…It’s not a laugh to practice woofing as 3am. 2…It’s wrong to back Graqndma into a coner and guard her. 3…He shounldn’t jump on your bed when he’s soaking wet. 4…The command”SHUT THE BLOODY HECK UP!” means just that. 5…The…
Read moreI will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table. I will not…
Read moreAfter your humans give you a bath, don’t let them towel you dry! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself on the sheets. This is especially good if it’s right before your human’s bedtime. Act like a…
Read moreBATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently. BYCYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you…
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