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A Father’s Day Poem From the Dog

You feed me when I’m hungry, You keep water in my dish, You let me sleep on anything, Or in any place I wish. You sometimes let me lick your hands, Or even lick your face, Despite the fact I’ve…

Rules For Dogs Who Have The Run of The House

1….Doors: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door opened stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. One door is opened it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an « outside » door opened,…

Dog Rules Simplified For Humans

Visitors: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show…

Things I Must Remember As A Dog

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the couch, or under the bed….

A Dog’s Prayer

Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me. Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between…

A Christmas Poem

Eyeing hydrants, digging holes, Drinking from the toilet bowls… Playing games of « tug-o’-war, » Putting scratch marks on your door … Rolling over, playing dead, Getting dog hair on your bed … Scaring folks who bring the mail, Chasing cars, as…

« Things We Can Learn From Our Pet »

Never pass up an opportunity to go for a joy ride Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy When loved ones come home, always run to greet them When it is…

Thirteen Things Dogs Don’t Understand

1…It’s not a laugh to practice woofing as 3am. 2…It’s wrong to back Graqndma into a coner and guard her. 3…He shounldn’t jump on your bed when he’s soaking wet. 4…The command »SHUT THE BLOODY HECK UP! » means just that. 5…The…

« Things A Dog Needs to Remember…. »

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table. I will not…

MIND GAMES FOR DOGS TO PLAY WITH HUMANS

After your humans give you a bath, don’t let them towel you dry! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself on the sheets. This is especially good if it’s right before your human’s bedtime. Act like a…