Dog

Thirteen Things Dogs Don’t Understand

1…It’s not a laugh to practice woofing as 3am. 2…It’s wrong to back Graqndma into a coner and guard her. 3…He shounldn’t jump on your bed when he’s soaking wet. 4…The command”SHUT THE BLOODY HECK UP!” means just that. 5…The…

“Things A Dog Needs to Remember….”

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table. I will not…

MIND GAMES FOR DOGS TO PLAY WITH HUMANS

After your humans give you a bath, don’t let them towel you dry! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself on the sheets. This is especially good if it’s right before your human’s bedtime. Act like a…

Doggy Dictionary

BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently. BYCYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you…

Dog Commandments

Thou shalt not act half starved whenever thou watches me eat. Thou shalt not lift thy leg to water the Christmas tree. Thou shalt not roll in any smelley stuff thy finds in the yard. Thou shalt not lie down…